PGW is am amazing site and Emerald and I are very proud of it, however, of late some issues are dooming this place not to grow and thrive, so here are my concerns, and why I am feeling like I need to take a break…

1. Anxiety about Chat and Site Attendance: Way too many times, I am forced to be the one person who is tasked with pushing people to the site and off other platforms. People can say they are “busy” or “working” but I am sorry it’s bullshit if they are on kik, trillian, FB, or elsewhere. It is 2019, the internet is the internet, the site is fully mobile. People claim they are doing all they can, but I rarely see anyone but me pushing attendance. Lately I see some mentioning they are heading for the site, that helps but is it really enough? If people are simply not regularly attending the site, it, as a grass-roots social network, will fail. This costs money and time out of My and Emerald’s real lives. It must grow or die. Members need, not only to want to BE here but to care about consistency here. With more than 500 active members, there should never be only 1-2 persons in the Public Chatroom. If this problem were aided by membership I could relax a lot more here. 

2. Community Culture is Failing: As I have expressed time and time again, the only thing that separates PGW from just about any other place is community and family feelings. Having actual continuity from day to day, where you can connect with other members, and share experiences makes this a place that has real value. If that is not the case, this site has no specific value at all, as there are plenty of other platforms where people can just “message” each other. Often many of you will proclaim to me “I am only here for you, Cathy!” This is actually the antithesis of what I want here. Anyone who knows me knows I only care about family, groups and community, and want members to care about each other, not just about Me or themselves. 

3. Delegation of Authority is Failing: For the last 5 years Emerald and I attempted to ask members of the Sophia Family to help out with moderation in chat, technical support, introduction and acclimation of new members, as well as putting out social fires, but we found no consistent support to be found. Then a few months ago we decided to appoint a specialized, smaller team of admins to perhaps focus on these issues, hopefully persons that really cared and would not mind being dedicated to helping. I delegated different issues at times, but the general hope, was that these 2 people would cover for us when we could not be present on the site. Unfortunately this too has failed, which is upsetting. I understand that people have real lives, but I guess I am disappointed that appointing two extra people was not enough, or that these people were unable to handle the task. I have added one more person, but I am at am impasse now, as Emerald and I ended up having our real lives totally disrupted and its just really unhealthy. 

4. Members are continually feeling isolated: I cannot tell you the amount of times I hear private complaints about members feeling sad, lonely, neglected, and ignored. I also feel that way maybe 50% of my time spent on the site, so If I am feeling this way, rest assured many of us are. We have tried to talk about reaching out to others, not expecting nor waiting for them to reach out to us but nothing has been changing there. For a real paradigm shift to occur, members need to forego the defensiveness and stop worrying about blame. Simply take the first step! I do it all the time, and you can too. Why are people simply sitting and waiting for others to do the work? Also: if you are aware someone is feeling sad or hurt, why can’t you just speak to them? The “Clique” thing also keeps coming up, and if we assign blame, we could easily say “ridiculous! there are no cliques!” and leave all the people who feel left out to stay in the lobby, but again, this needs to be about the site! By slowly and gradually reaching out to people who stay in the lobby, you absolutely CAN dispel the perception of cliquism, and bring them in to the community at large. People who feel invited and part of something will be less inclined to believe there are cliques. 

5. Members who are already trying, don’t know how to help: This is very simple, yet not always obvious. If you feel that you are already fulfilling all of these tasks, there is still a bigger task to work on: encouraging and helping to organize OTHERS to handle them as well! Either we sink or swim as a group. This is all of our responsibility. Do we want this place to work or not? If so, we have to stop worrying about who is doing more, and do ALL we can! God knows I do! Let’s remember, I don’t make ANY money here, the donations I do acquire go to my bills, which are paid from personal funds. I have no monetization plans in place yet for PGW. While the site is generally getting hits, the attendance is still not showing real growth: we gain a member, as a member stops showing up. If all these other issues were handled, then sure I could feel positive about the future of the site and perhaps invest even more in that future. When I started this site and we only had a few members, I believed i could handle everything myself, but this is no longer the case. I have to admit: I need help.

6. Members being non-direct: or just lying: I have stressed over and over the need, at least in the Sophia Family, for members to be honest, open, and direct. Holding truth back to spare feelings always backfires in the end. By attempting to be fake to preserve a person’s feelings, you will hurt them worse, once they learn of your deception. I don’t know many times i can say this until people start buying in. But this is paramount: a huge problem in this community, and let’s face it, all online communities. It’s just way too easy to try to lie, cover up, and hold back truth until the absolute last moment, when you are about to be busted. My problem here is I am far too good at detecting deceit, and this kills me inside, knowing my so-called “friends” are willing to lie to me or hide things for any reason. It makes me sick in side, and saddens me. Members are asked to handle squabbles directly with each other, but how often do you guys just vent behind backs or even organize a lynch mob against another member? Recently we dealt with that, Emerald and I, and it was nothing less than shocking and disgusting. I could not believe we were being blamed for one member who was acting out, and then given ultimatums about forcing that member off the site. We must all grow up, yes I know it’s hard, and go directly to the offending party, not to others, because then it always ends up in MY lap, and that’s a horrible reality. That is a major issue in terms of me not being able to function here. 

I am probably forgetting something but since I heard some Sophia Family members claiming I am not specific enough, there is an outline of things that need to be fixed or addressed here. 

Thanks for reading and I welcome your comments and suggestions, thanks!

Cathy, Team Panda, PGW

  1. Mercedes Sayuri Lopez 3 years ago

    thank you My Goddess, I hope everyone reads this and really thinks on it

  2. Laura "LaLo" Lohans 3 years ago

    Thank you for this, I’ll work on what I can

  3. Thank you Goddess well expressed

  4. Stephanie Nakano Jenkins 3 years ago

    Thank you Cathy

  5. Emerald Sophia 3 years ago

    Co-signed all the way

  6. Laura Kaida Carlson {GC} 3 years ago

    my recommendation to absolutely every PGW member….read through what Goddess Cathy posted, and really self-search to see if any of it applies to you. if it does – if you can identify areas where you can improve – then take it to heart. Not as a criticism, but as an opportunity to be a better friend, a better member, and a better person.

  7. Eri Natalia Sophia 3 years ago

    Great post, thank you sharing Cathy, i hope we all take it in…Thank you again

  8. my recommendation to absolutely every PGW member….read through what Goddess Cathy posted, and really self-search to see if any of it applies to you. if it does – if you can identify areas where you can improve – then take it to heart. Not as a criticism, but as an opportunity to be a better friend, a better member, and a better person.

  9. this was amazing and totally accurate and I believe the only thing you may have left out is how this affects you and Emerald as you proved in this that it’s about community and family and not about any one person we to be a family not simply “act” like one we need to be able to take constructive criticism work together . I do love it here everyone needs this place for one reason or another. Please let’s nurture it and help it grow

  10. Amanda Jane 3 years ago

    Thank you for sharing Goddess I know it’s difficult to put this into words at times.

  11. Mandi "Hikari" Lane 3 years ago

    very well spelled out Goddess now there should be no excuse for lack of change around here!

  12. Thank you for this wonderful place and hugs and kisses and totally agree with you

  13. Ana Akiko Sophia 3 years ago

    great post and i agree that those are the major things that need improvement and for all of us to look at each other and see what can we do here better

  14. Adriana Lara Campbell 3 years ago

    That all makes sense and we should try harder

  15. Emma 3 years ago

    Nicely put together. Agreed with every word. Me and everyone else needs to fix this. No excuses anymore.

  16. Stefanie Takara Ryder 3 years ago

    This is very nicely put together i agree with every word of it im gonna do my best to do my part i will be there everyday

  17. I for one and am going to do all i can to support PGW and Team Panda. It’s the least I can do for being allowed to be a part of this wonderful community and family!

  18. Debbie Sadashi Chang 3 years ago

    Thank you for sharing this. Very good points

  19. Thank You, Cathy. Love this site and all You do for us. And will do all I can to be a better member of this amazing community.

  20. Sophie 3 years ago

    i agree with every word Goddess and i am very happy that i am part of this site and i will do my part in a very good way and thanks for sharing very good points

  21. Sabrina Malika Sophia 3 years ago

    Sad there is so much pressure on you both. I’ll try harder to be a supportive friend and memeber

  22. Gemma Makoto Morgan 3 years ago

    I have read through this twice now and I truly believe that all of us CAN do more.

  23. RJ Etsuko Lohans 3 years ago

    I agree with everything here. While big changes are needed I feel if we each look at our self and pick one thing (at a time) to work on, make that change and that will grow and perhaps big challenges will occur but it has to be a group effort… This place is amazing, this place is home and we need to treasure it and take care
    of it… Cathy I value you and Emeralds time and energy you both have put into this site and everything that goes along with it. ❤️

  24. I fully agree Sis, I will do my part to be a better friend and a better member here. Thank you and Emerald for all you do for all of us.

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